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I was at a business workshop a few weeks ago when the instructor told us to break into pairs and ask each other, ‘What do you want?’ I doubt anyone in the room was prepared to be made vulnerable by such a surprisingly deep and personal question as that.
‘What do you want?’
‘Well,’ I began, ‘I want to grow a business that helps me help other people.’
‘Why?’ my partner asked.
‘Because it’s what I love, helping people,’ I said.
‘Why?’ she countered.
‘Because it helps me in the process?’ I kind of said.
We went on that way for five more minutes, and I was surprised at how little I’d really considered the question before.
Sometimes I get so caught up in the details of daily life, it’s easy to back-burner, downgrade and all but forget that there actually are some things and experiences I want, but haven’t dared to DECLARE to myself.
I might tell myself I’ll get to it as soon as I finish this or that worthy project over there. Or that I have to save up, or learn up, or build up X before I can even think about other things. The truth of it—which is what I arrived at with my workshop partner a few weeks back—is that I’ve been hedging for various reasons around owning my own desires. And this is what brings me to today’s good energy business: DECLARE.
A declaration is the act of emphatically stating a thing, it’s a definitive pronouncement, a bold alignment of yourself to your goal. To DECLARE that you want what you want is to ‘come out’ with it, to let everyone know—in your energy and intention—without talking from both sides of your mouth. To DECLARE is not to affront or offend; it’s to own and encourage yourself in the unshakeable pursuit of living like you mean to. When’s the last time you went all out like that for yourself, honey?
Today, grant yourself permission to ask yourself, ‘What do you want?’ Don’t stop at your tired, easy answers, either. Keep asking ‘Why,’ and allow yourself to be surprised and uncomfortable with your deepest answers. If your truest response doesn’t make you the least bit nervous, you haven’t gone far enough.
Want to know what came up for me after drilling through those questions? I realized that everything I do these days—the motivation behind, in front of, and all around Honey Help YourSelf—is an act of owning myself, of standing out in the full light of day to raise my hand and DECLARE that I am here in my integrity, embracing my light and shadow, flaws and all, to share and grow my gifts to the best of my ability. I am here, unapologetically so, because so much in my life for far too long has stood in direct opposition to my right to take up space in the world.
Old notions of the culture, society, certain values and judgments from familiars and strangers alike have repeatedly told me I am unworthy, undeserving, unlovely and unwelcomed to be my natural-born, wildly bright and beautifully creative whole self. Honey Help YourSelf is me helping myself. It’s my path of honoring my inner wisdom and moving with it. It is my DECLARATION that living well is a matter of choice, because I know my own growth is as much a choice as it is a process, which can serve as a beacon to others on the journey. I accept and own that responsibility, too.
Now, what about you. What will you DECLARE today, honey?